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Reply To: Feeling bad because of my Ex’s new relationship

HomeForumsRelationshipsFeeling bad because of my Ex’s new relationshipReply To: Feeling bad because of my Ex’s new relationship

#228683
Vicente
Participant

Hey, I’m back…

I will try to make it short…

After writting here that I was feeling baf because of my ex`s new relationship and that I was doing my best to watch my feelings and not take any action, it happened that we met a thousand miles (really) away from our city, in a COMPLETELY unexpected event.

Long story short, we spent almost 3 days together and had the opportunity to talk about everything we were feeling (note: not sleeping together or anything, we were both participants of a medical conference very far away from home, where we didnt know anybody else, and ended up staying together during the whole day, mostly talking about ourselves and missing everything else, and then went back to each ones hotel at the end of each day).

The thing is: we both thought that the other one had terrible feelings about each other and had moved on nicely (as I wrote here), but it could not be further from the truth as we found out after talking to each other. She said she loves me so much and feels terribly afraid of looking back in the future and feel that she might have been with me, the one who she really loves. She also said that all of her friends keep telling her that the new guy looks a lot like me (just as I wrote here…) and it scares her. Its her opinion that the only ”wrong” thing about me is that I wasn’t (and still am not) mature enough to be in a serious relationship, since I had a lot to accomplish by myself yet, and theres nothing she can do regarding it besides wishing me the best, but she has to move on because she wants to have a family and the other guy is a very good person who treats her amazingly and wants the same. Its not that shes unhappy with him, but she still thinks that I am the one and these 3 days together were another proof of it since we felt the happiest ones in the world together.

My side of the story: I really did feel the happiest guy in the world. I still do love this person so much and I agree with her that I wasnt ready to be in a definitive relationship, and Im not sure if I am right now. I dont know if feeling unsure about it is a sign that I actually am not, or if this is a sign that I may have a disfunctional view about relationships in general. I dont want to get in touch with her while unsure about it, I dont want to make it even harder to her as well. I can imagine what she might be going trhough right now as she asks herself if she should leave her relationship because of what she felt after meeting me.

Its not something that we can just ignore…

Any thoughts about it? Maybe I should just sit and wait until things get clearer to me before doing anything?

Thank you!