Shelby,

I think what makes the situation more difficult is that the reason behind our split is solely based on the situation we faced back in June & his response/actions around that time.

I do realise I have to heal from the trauma and learn to forgive and it is probably wise (if not necessary) to go at that alone but there is a major part of me who also resents him for allowing me to go through that on my own. He played a major part in breaking me and chose to leave and not even witness the damage he caused. Now, he knows very well just how broken I am and all the feelings circulating within me but I still don’t think he’s capable of helping – even though I do see it as his duty as someone who ‘loved and cared for me’ (or still does) and also someone who caused this in the first place.

He acknowledges that he should’ve never walked away and leave me to pick up the pieces of my shattered self and that he should’ve been there to hold my hand through it, yet I don’t feel he’s really up for the task even now.

I just feel absolutely lost. That’s the best way to describe it.

I’m gonna give the video a go.