Hello,

Yes I was a bit shy to tell him I would like to date him again – it was a peacemaking mission – so not sure how best to introduce the idea again.

However it is true that I need to spend a little more time addressing the issue of my anger .
Owning up to it will help, but its important to work at that a little further before I risk getting involved with him again.
(Indeed he’s been burnt once so while he’s forgiven me no doubt he will be more cautious a second time around.)

Do you have any suggestions as to how I can continue to deal with this anger issue?
I noticed yesterday a gentleness and calmness that I haven’t felt in quite that way before. Something within me has relaxed somewhere. Of course I have felt calm and happy before but this was qualitatively different. I figure this is a good sign and its motivated me to continue on this path. I have made an effort to slow down, pay attention to others a lot more and look them in the eye when we are talking.  Want to book a holiday – really really want to travel around a bit more. East Asia appeals.

My relationship with my parents has its difficulties and I am reacting to them differently. They still do things that frustrate me – my mum is terrible at listening and quite passive-aggressive. I’m trying to gently bring out the problematic behaviors into discussion.

I have decided to cut ties with my sister again – keeping her at arms length. I keep giving her the benefit of a doubt and then she proves to me she cannot be trusted. In short she’s abusive and very aggressive. She’s unwilling to take responsibility for her behaviors so change is impossible. My relationships with mum and dad were strained growing up- but my relationship with my sister was the worst, going far beyond ‘sibling rivalry’.  She held me up at knife point on more than one occasion.

Suppose it follows the next thing to do is to examine my own toxic behaviors in response to my sister: something I’ve never looked at.

That and I need to let go of my vitrol towards my last boyfriend, who I suspect was cheating on me. (But was generally lazy and neglectful anyway: I don’t know why I stayed with him so long.)

-Feathering