The title of your post describes your relationship.  You are in an unhealthy relationship.

If you really want to move forward then don’t look outside yourself for permission to do something.

It is not what we would do or advise you to do but what do you want to do, what you NEED to do.  Do you love yourself enough to make the changes that is healthy for you?  If not then find a therapist to assist you.

You say you wish someone come over and tell you what to do.  How about pretending to be that good friend and tell yourself to pack up and move out.  Read what you posted as if it was written by someone else, what would you tell her to do?

I don’t disagree that it is hard to make changes.  Once you make your decision to change then look for support to assist you in that.  But my take is that you first need to decide for yourself before you seek help.

Good luck,
Mark