I like the idea of affirmations, I was thinking of doing something Similar by journaling daily at least a few short sentences about evidence of my worth. It becomes extremely difficult when I’m depressed to think of anything I do that’s worthy, however when I’m in a decent mood it is much easier. It is truly remarkable to me how much my thoughts shift in a week or even a day sometimes. I feel very much disregulated.

I vividly remember a time a few months after I broke up with my first girlfriend where I had been terribly depressed, and woke up one day with more energy than I have ever experienced, it felt like I drank 10 cups of coffee and had the jitters for 3 or 4 days. This is when I learned about this cycle in me. My therapist was firm with me it wasn’t bipolar but it was as you describe the brain taking a break from depression. I’ve been aware of this for a couple years now and try my best to use any burst of good feelings to get things done for those few days.

It’s getting difficult to function this way, but I hope that continuing to work on my belief that I’m worthless can help. I know it helped when you walked me through my belief that I was a bad person. I dont feel like a bad person anymore but I dont feel I have any value to the world. I help support no one and feel very much unneeded. It makes it hard for me to get out of bed feeling like no one wants to see me, even though that’s not true.

I’m at a point with all this where I’m hoping to move towards an acceptance of my cycles it’s easier for me to regulate the confident extroverted moods than it is for me to lift myself even a little bit out of depression.