hi Anita,

one of worry i often encounter is that Andre doen’t really respond when I give him compliment. Like when I told him he looks good, he’s just quiet.. I’m afraid that he thinks I only give him bull**** or i will often think whether I have said something wrong. Or maybe words of affirmation is not his love language, I haven’t yet to discover. basically i worry if i say or do something that goes against his perspectives.

And yes, I still live with my parents. It feels plain.. I don’t really develop strong feeling towards them. But I’d like to melt the situation. Sometimes when i share my story about my work or something I experience i my travels, my father, especially, doesn’t really respond. he’s just quiet or just “oh’. my mom, she’s ok, she still responds and tries to engage. then when my father will try to talk to me, it’s usually about things that he wants himself to control or take care of. For example that kind of job I should take, type of insurances, about he’s getting close to retirement and needs to find a way to be entrepreneur.. My father experienced terrible childhood, he’s abandoned too, and lack of receiving compassion from his relatives, so I suppose that’s what makes him exaggerate everything often times, even in smallest thing like being stuck in traffic, he’s blaming life when the other cars already move…. However I can’t change him. he’s 50 years old now. What I hope is that one day i’m able to introduce my parents, father especially to experience life without unnecessary stress, you know, maybe take them to travel and enjoy being in different places. I want to forgive and make peace with them.

On daily basis, I don’t interact that much with my parents. With current job I have, even I just go straight to sleep often times and go out mostly alone when I have day offs.

Thanks a lot Anita, I hope you’re having a great Sunday.