Hi Anita,

Only a few more days until Christmas & I hope you have a Christmas Beautiful Day~

I have been dealing with a lot in the past week or so…Busted water heater and flooding of the basement/electrical issues with overhead ceiling lights and evicting my renter.  She refused to pay the rent and bills which were in my name~  She was a handful.  She also had moved her boyfriend & his 2 dogs in which was clearly not allowed without asking first.

I found out yesterday my ex did get married and purchased a large home on several acres, which really hurt!  He never even had a charge card when we were together & I had to co-sign for his car because he couldn’t get a loan.  How in the world could he purchase a home??  Knocks me for a loop.  This was all done back in the summer, only 3 months after he left.  I must say it rips my Heart out and makes me feel so disposable.  It’s like our 8 years together was absolutely meaningless to him.  I know I shouldn’t feel that way but I do.  3 months after he left all of this happened.  Merry Christmas to me, as if things weren’t bad enough…I am so sad and Heartbroken I can hardly stand it.  I don’t want to see or talk to anyone.  I feel like I am that person in a Snow Globe that never gets out and only picked from the shelf on occasion to shake & watch the glitter fall back to the ground.

I have scanned the dating sites thinking it would cheer me up and distract me for a bit, but it was terrible.  Maybe 3 guys were cute, but after reading their profiles I knew Thay were not my type.  I will leave the men alone for now.  When I found out about my ex it set me back a bit.  When I found out about him I realized I still had hoped we may have gotten back together.  I just didn’t want to admit to myself.  I had this crazy idea he would come back and tell me how much he Loved and missed me and that he had made a terrible choice by leaving.  I feel I really wanted to know I was Loved and that what we had shared did count for something.  I really don’t think I will ever be able to trust a man.  I can’t stop crying and I can barely see the keyboard to type.

You are the only person I have mentioned this to.  I really wish we could have our tea together in the morning and have a nice talk.

My Heart is truly Broken in a million pieces~

Bella