Dear ImJWL:

Congratulations for leaving that marriage. Reads to me that  you did the right thing for you (and for him). I am glad no kids are involved.

You are  a young woman, maybe still in your twenties. You clearly want to experience all that you didn’t experience in that miserable  marriage you endured: companionship, effective communication, feeling appreciated, chemistry, emotional and  physical intimacy, respect, no aggression and no alcoholism.

These things are not too much to ask for, these are reasonable expectations. Here is my advice then: continue to date but do it in a different way: do not jump into anything with anyone. Instead meet a variety of men in a public place such as a coffee shop or a casual restaurant. In that context have conversations with these men, learn who they are and share  about yourself.  Not all  at  once, a bit here, a bit there.

Your aim is to find a man able and willing to experience that intimacy that you need, a  man who will  be respectful toward you, etc., so find out if this man or that man is able and  willing, through conversations. Be patient with the process, keep an objective mind, keeping hope and  desperation controlled.

After a few months, if you locate a good candidate, then consider spending time with him alone, just you and  him.

Does this make sense to you?

anita