Shelby,

Further to the above, I have actually done a bit of reading and this notion is actually a real thing and called trauma bonding. (My friend is one intelligent lady clearly!)

So whilst I sit here pondering at my own god damn stupidity at this point because I swear I actually do know better, I have for a god damn long time, maybe I am not stupid in the end. Maybe trauma is just so complicated and complex that it causes these things to happen.

I’m going to try and explore this in therapy on Thursday.