Thank you Mark and Anita.  I’ve been staying at a friends house for the past week trying to get some space to figure out why I’m so messed up.  I know 100% that this relationship is over and I’d never be happy with him again.  So why haven’t I kicked him out of my house cut off all ties?  One thing for sure is I need to do a lot of work on myself before beginning any new relationship after this.  Anita, I think it does boil down to a raw fear of abandonment.  The fear is intense and comes up every time I try to work up the nerve to kick him out.  I have an appointment with a therapist this afternoon…. Hoping this will be a empowering step in the right direction.