I wanted to take a second to thank you again.  Mood wise, yesterday was the best I have felt in months.  It was really wonderful.  I chose to take the obsessive thoughts about sex off the table and to really show my affection for my boyfriend in other ways.  I wasn’t grumpy and anxious yesterday and I felt calm and open.  We both love to laugh together and just be in the same room together so instead of retreating into the other room to obsess and ruminate, I went into the living room with him while he finished some work after he asked me to come keep him company.  I put on a stand up comedy show while he worked and he eventually came and sat down by me and we both just laughed together.  I didn’t have any expectations except for making him feel calm and loved.  Ironically, I didn’t gave any desire for sexual intimacy.  Maybe this was because I was bloated and tired, but it was nice to not feel that dreaded feeling of ‘it’s probably not going to happen tonight…again.”  I put a reminded on my phone that says to give it one full week of trying very hard to show him affection and support in new ways and to be light hearted and positive in every part of our lives.  I am a notorious pessimist and complainer…  He seemed happy last night and relaxed.  It was nice to see and to be a part of that.  I gave myself a week just to see how it goes and how I work with this new perspective on my life and our lives together.  I have become to obsessed with this sex issue and this paranoia about infidelity that I am slowly losing myself and becoming someone else…the person he didn’t fall in love with.  So my goals for this week are to 1. be positive 2. give him random kisses and I love you’s (he does this all the time I do not) 3. focus on getting my needs met through self reflection and action 4. allow our home to be a place of comfort and not anxiety.  I really appreciate you.  Something about your messages really struck a chord with me.