All of your reply sounds accurate and makes sense.   I agree, living together and being around each other so much does give me the opportunity to see and notice new things about him.  I will point out…when we were first dating we only saw each other on weekends, rarely during the week.  Then he took a job where he was gone three weeks on a rig and then off three weeks.  So this is the first time we have been together this much.  I guess I am confused as to why the change was so sudden – but I don’t know much about ED so it is possible that ED can be a sudden occurrence.   It was about 10 months ago when he was having some trouble with an erection and he said “I need to go to the Dr. about that” and I just comforted him and said it is no big deal, it happens to all men.   I didn’t expect it to be a huge thing like it is now.  I am continuing to be patient with him and there for him the best I can.  I haven’t mentioned sex at all.  I want to be with him.  If it wasn’t for this I would consider the relationship damn near perfect.  I am trying to put myself in his shoes…what if I had some sexual disorder and could not have sex?  How would I feel?  I imagine he is scared as he knows how important sex is to me and I imagine he feels embarrassed or less than.  My goal is to talk more about it with him, but I am not sure when to do that and how.  Thank you for spelling it all out for me.  Anxiety causes my thoughts to race and rational thinking goes out the door.  My biggest fear is being hurt in this relationship and finding out something devious, but I am going to stay as rational as possible and realize that this is likely something physical in nature and not his fault or my fault.  Thank you, I wish I could carry you around in my pocket!