Dear laelithia:

Good job confronting your mother, I am pleased that you did but caution you that for this confrontation to be a step in the right direction for you, you need to see to it that (unless she reaches out to you with a sincere attempt to examine what wrong she did to you, which is unlikely), you do not participate in any one-to-one conversations with her, that you limit  your interactions with her to pleasantries only (hello,may I talk to …, I hope you feel better, and such), and nothing more.

At any time when you feel (unjustified) guilt, when you see her in pain because of her illness, or aging, it is okay for you to tell her that you love her, that you always loved her and always will, because it is true. But don’t say any more than that, none whatsoever.

Persist in this and make no exceptions. Take your own side, be 100% on the side of your record of your childhood/ ongoing experience with your mother.

Regarding your ex of two years ago, what an interesting insight you just brought up, for the first time, I believe.

Regarding your current boyfriend, having read about your relationship as much as I have, I don’t think well of the relationship nor do  I see a good future with him: the fact that he is at times accepting of your behavior toward him, then gets angry, then accepts it again, all this indicates to me that he is not emotionally healthy, that he significantly doubts himself, that he lacks understanding of what is happening, and so, I think this relationship is not a good idea.

anita