Hi Hella,

You’re getting a lot of solid advice on this thread; I’m not sure I can add anything of substance to it all. One thing I’ll say is I feel I may know this type of guy. He’s charming, probably well liked by everyone, knows people in every social circle in the community, you know, like when he walks into Starbucks he’ll see at least 3 people who are genuinely happy to see him. Maybe he’s very good looking, has no trouble attracting women, and is the life of the party…the John Kennedy Jr type? If so, then just by knowing this guy a person’s social status is elevated, so yes, he’s able to set a narrative and no one’s going to challenge him on it, and I’m thinking you’re not the first woman he’s been with who finds herself in this situation. I like Anita’s input that what you shared with this guy may have meant more to you than it did him, and the way to achieve calmness is to no longer hope that he’ll come to his senses and come back to you. I think I may understand how difficult both may be for you. Hang in there, Hella.

B