@Anita,

Thanks for your insight and perhaps I used the wrong words. Up until this point he’s been incredibly loyal and trustworthy. I do think that he hasn’t been the best communicator, or perhaps we could  have discussed what he was feeling before it came to this. That being said (and maybe I’m in denial), but I don’t believe that this is who he is as a person. I don’t think that his actions of the past few months are his true character. I think he’s going through some kind of existential crisis – but then again, this is me making assumption after assumption about him. I can’t know what’s going on in his head. That being said, while a lot of marriages fall apart due to infidelity and actions that cannot be forgiven, I think assuming that there’s absolutely no way of coming back from this to be a bit short-sighted. Of course, that’s assuming that he has any interest in the future of working on our marriage.

Otherwise, I do think it could be beneficial for me to go back to therapy. I need to make time for it. As far as divorce proceedings go, it’s just incredibly hard to take that step. It’s so final. Financially, I’m not concerned. When I first met with the lawyer and spoke to her about what I should be paying, what’s I’m entitled to, etc – she helped me to understand what my rights are and what I can do within legal bounds. That was helpful, I’m just not sure I’m ready to make the leap with everything…which may not be right for me emotionally, but it’s what I feel.

@Valora,

Again, I’m sorry that you can relate on so many levels. It’s so hard…

I know I need to be easier on myself and I truly am trying, I’ve always been my own toughest critic. Thank you for saying what you said though, hearing it does at least make me feel a tad better. I’ve been told time and time again by people to work on myself and worry about myself – it’s just so much easier said then done. I’m trying to be healthy and make smart decisions, but sometimes it’s just easier not to.

How are you faring in your situation? How far out of it are you?