Hi Elizabeth,

I have been thinking about you.

Whether or not your husband decides to give your marriage another try, you may need some help on how to survive right now.

1. Your job will save you. It will force you each morning to wake up, shower, get dressed and get out of the house. Interact with your co-workers (as annoying as they may be). Treat everyone with respect in spite of any bad working relationships you may have with them. Help everyone out as much as you can. Become the “go-to” person.  Throw yourself into your work especially if this is a long term career for you. Be diligent and thorough. Become an expert at what you do. If others ask you to go to lunch with them, go. If they don’t, don’t worry about it, bring your own lunch.

2. Stop drinking alcohol. Cold turkey, 100%, stop. This may be very difficult to do and I don’t believe for a second that you’re an alcoholic. I think most people should just stop drinking. Alcohol is a depressant and will ultimately make everything worse. It makes getting up in the morning worse, makes your skin worse, makes your thoughts worse, makes your body worse, oh I could go on and on.

3. See a doctor. Get a physical. Make sure everything is good. Talk to him/her about your situation. Ask for advice. If he/she recommends therapy, get the name and number of a good therapist.

4. Start running. I mean it. Become a runner. Buy running shoes, get outside, run every day. Give it 2 months. It just may transform your life.

5. Start eating the right foods. You’re down 20 lbs and may not be getting enough nourishment. This may be affecting your energy level and disposition big time. Make sure you’re getting enough electrolytes in your diet (magnesium, potassium, etc.). Look at food as a way to nourish your body and your mind. Think about taking a daily multi-vitamin.

6. Get a good night’s sleep. This one’s HUGE. If you’re running every day, eating well and not drinking alcohol, you will sleep better. Lack of sleep affects everything.

7. Start meditating. Twice a day every day. There’s so much online to get you started. Give it 2 months. It just may transform your life.

8. Stop comparing yourself to her. You see her as “young, vibrant, easy to talk to, bright light for his business”, and right now he’s very drawn to all of those things, but the day will come when the two of them look into each other’s eyes and see only one thing: a weak character. It’s the biggest thing they have in common. They’re both cheaters. No matter how far this relationship goes, in the back of each of their minds they’ll always know that they can’t trust each other, and he’ll always remember that it was you he could trust.

9. Keep posting on your thread. Every day if you need to. Don’t bottle up your feelings. Think of this forum as a journal.

B