I really think my girlfriend is delusional or in denial about the whole thing.  She is weird, because she says she knows i don’t love her like i did my ex.  and that she doesn’t think i will, but yet she still wants to stay with me.

I don’t think she’s necessarily in denial or delusional because she is very much acknowledging the truth of the situation. The fact that she’s choosing to stay, though, says she is codependent, which is just as harmful to a person and a relationship as being delusional or in denial.

She does need to take responsibility for her moving in also.  It wasn’t like we were exactly on cloud 9 when she did.  She should have decided to wait and make sure all was good  between us. I do take responsibility as well.

Exactly. It’s very clear that you’re also taking responsibility for your part in it, which is why you’re feeling guilty, but this is on her, too. First and foremost, a parent’s main job is to do what’s best for the kids. Not to sound judgmental on my part, but making them switch school districts so she could move in with a her boyfriend she’d only been seeing for a few months was not a good idea, and that was on her. She’s the one that chose to move her kids.  You didn’t force her to.

But like you said… we all make mistakes. The important part is recognizing them, taking responsibility, and learning the lesson from them. But it isn’t right to accuse you as if you were the only one who made the mistake or that you forced her into the position she’s in. She put herself there by agreeing to it.

I also wouldn’t do too much comparing with this situation and your ex. They’re just two different situations. Just because you’re feeling this way about your girlfriend doesn’t mean your ex felt that way about you at the time. It’s hard to say what your ex was going through. And as much as it sucks to recognize this… whether your ex thinks about you often or not doesn’t really matter because she isn’t a part of your life right now. Who knows, maybe she’ll come back once you’re free again and have had a chance to focus on you and your kids for a bit, but as of right now, she’s staying away. I think she might still have some growing to do anyway given how she handled things the last time. It still showed some immaturity.

I really need to get back to myself, with just me and my girls. I need to make them and me my priority anymore, NOT other people, no matter how I feel about them.

This is absolutely the best thing you can do. Just get back to being you and spending time with your girls and see if your daughter notices you’re more “you” after a while. Get in a good spot with the way you feel in general again. Then let love find it’s way to you after that. I don’t think it hurts to hold a little hope alive for a reconciliation with your ex down the road, but also keep your options open, get to know new people with the hope that there could also be someone even better than your ex out there… someone who makes you feel the same way that your ex did (that “home” feeling), who has kids who are already grown and is free to travel and go do fun things, has their life together, and who is ready for a mature, committed, life-long relationship…. that’s what you’re ultimately looking for, right?