Dear Jay:

Regarding B: I suppose her behavior is evidence that indeed, advancing age does not mean wisdom, that unless people pay attention and aim at learning… they don’t. Her ex, the man before A, the one she returned to, he didn’t learn anything himself, did he.

Regarding your 89 year old mother, “She didn’t want either of us, something she repeated over and over”- she told her two vulnerable children that she didn’t want them.

Now she is “a vulnerable adult”, a legal term.

It makes sense to me that you continue with the  legal route, no point trying yet again to communicate with your sister.

How much does it bother you to not see your mother again (a consequence, if I understand correctly, of taking the legal route); what do you feel about not seeing again a woman who pre-dementia was repeatedly nasty to you?

anita