Hi Anita,

I am lonely but I don’t know if it just that. I truly miss that man. He was my first everything. He was the love of my life. He was truly my best friend. We would talk all night long about life. I miss our life and routine. I miss Florida and dinners on the water. I kind of lived a luxurious life with him as his family was wealthy. I can do it on my own but it is not the same. He made everything better. I think Narcissism is exaggerated as well but unfortunately my ex meets all of the “criteria” of a covert narcissist. He was amazing to me for years, I mean 100% gentleman and treated me like a queen. He provided for me, took me dinners, bought me things. complemented me, rubbed my back and feet every night. But those weren’t even the things I fell in love with. I fell in love with his smile. With his “heart” that I thought was good back than. I fell in love with his compassion. Now I find narcissist mirror you and those were my traits? It is so confusing. It’s hard to believe he didn’t love and was just using me but what else does living a double life mean? I think I must be getting my period because I have been overly emotional. I have dreams and nightmare about him lately. I just wish he would at least respect me to give me closure. He hasn’t even reached out to see how I am doing with my moms passing. He loved my mom and they talked often. so hard to believe his heart is so cold. And I hope it is not that high either, meaning the 95%. I may just be paranoid but it feels like since my awakening I notice the way people try to use you at the drop of a dime. I can see right through people. Situations where I’d be so genuine I see right through and have to hold onto myself and not let myself fall victim to people’s sketchy ways.