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Reply To: Exhausting friendships

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Sarah
Participant

Hi Jay!

YES! Goodness, do I ever understand that. Our friendships transition, just as much as we do throughout life, I totally get that! Not to say that all friendships don’t have a place within the transitions of our lives, but perhaps, our priorities change. While I was a young adult, I chose to be single and my friends were #1. Now, that I’ve found someone whose wonderful and I see a future with, my friends aren’t my top priority.  I think the people I would be okay with losing are those who don’t support me and the choices (good choices) that I make. I’ve worked hard to become who I am, and hard to get to where I am in life.  I don’t want the added “weight” I guess you could say, the add weight of people and their dark grey clouds.  I’ll be honest, I feel much better after standing my ground with my one friend – I think she has some hurt feelings, and I’m okay with her being upset with me.  It was much needed, and you know what I’m coming to terms with? Real friends may be upset that you stand up for yourself, but they’ll thank you, also.  It’s hard to see yourself in a mirror, like the REAL you, deep down, not the physical you.  It’s hard to have someone tell you that you may not be behaving like your best self. It’s happened me, and it’s awful, but you know what? I grew from it. I made changes, I became more mindful of how I was behaving and treating those I cared about.

Thank you – I haven’t beat my depression, per say, it’s always a work in progress. However, I do what I can do manage it. I meditate, I do yoga, I listen to my body/mind and what it needs from me. I don’t know that I’ll ever be rid of my depression an anxiety, but I’m definitely trying my best to work alongside it.

You’re absolutely right.  I want nothing more than to fill my friends and family with my light, and love. I think I need to stop worrying about what everyone elses expectations are of me, and start putting the expectations I have of myself, first.

It is nice to connect with you, and I value the words you’ve written. You’ve been a great help – just listening, and offering words of guidance.

Sarah