Dear Lindsey:

Your mother helped you during the time of your breakdown, about the time you turned 40. The complexity of the situation is that she did her part in creating that breakdown. It would have been nice if she didn’t cause a whole lot of your distress that led to that breakdown. Pay attention to the big picture in regard to your relationship with your mother: how is she hurting you vs how is she helping you.

I think that when M cut himself off you emotionally and did so suddenly: “at first there was a connection but as soon as he said this can’t go anywhere he cut himself off emotionally“), he triggered your experience with your mother doing the same, cutting herself off you emotionally and suddenly: “when I went to college, she pretty much said you are on your own now and they moved into a new house without a room for me. She emotionally cut herself off from me overnight“.

Look at your words, the ones I italicized: M cut himself off you emotionally, as soon as…  and your mother cut herself off you emotionally overnight.

anita