Dear marthams:

A quick reply (I am in a hurry, need to be away from the computer): yes, no talking is the best choice. If you go to this wedding, you will not fix the family situation, and you will not change that woman, your grandmother. No point trying to  prevent your grandmother’s next outrage- she may be outraged right after the wedding if she doesn’t like the gift you will  bring…. or during the wedding if she doesn’t like what you are wearing, or if you didn’t smile at her at just the right moment, or whatever her displeasure may be.

And if you escape her outrage this time, it will be there next time. Who wants to be on a hostile person’s temporary  good list, not knowing the next time…

I wouldn’t  go to the wedding if I was you, it would be a waste  of money and effort and nothing to be gained.

I will be back to the computer in about 13 hours, if you would like to add anything, please do and I will be back with you when I am back.

anita