Anita,

My dumb behaviors I continue to do even when people repeatedly  tell me it’s a bad idea leave me really disappointed in myself and I wonder why I self sabotage.  Yesterday was the best day yet and I thought around 7pm I’m just going to go to M’s house.  Just to say hey I don’t want things awkward at work I’m trying to move on etc.

well. I drove by and there was a car in the driveway.  Odd things he did when I Used to visit him stared to make sense. I’m fairly certain he was seeing other women while seeing me.  I feel really angry mostly at myself.  This entire situation makes me feel like I’m in high school.  We didn’t use protection and I’m calling my obgyn this am to get tested.  I feel beyond dirty.  I feel like talking about him still is pathetic and my really good friend at work refuses to talk with me at all about him saying move on it’s over it’s fine.

I feel sick and used and laughed at behind my back.  Please help.

lindsey