Dear Annie:

At this point, the nature of your relationship is that the two of you meet about once a week and have sex. Following the sex, he sleeps (“we would have sex and then he sleeps”). There is very little talking between the two of you (“We hardly ever talk to each other), not between the meetings and not after the sex.

You “don’t know what he’s thinking”. When you ask him what he is thinking, he tells you “that his mind is blank”.

You wrote: “The only time I feel close with him is when we have sex”-

– well, the relationship clearly is a sexual relationship, it is about getting together and having sex about once a week. I don’t know what the relationship used to be like, but now, this is what it is.

You asked: “is there any way or advice for us to be emotionally connected?”- my advice is that you remove the sexual component from the relationship, that is tell him just that, no more sex between the two of you (and follow through!)

See then what is left, see then if there really was nothing else for him, no  other motivation to be with you. It is important to you, isn’t it, to know if his only motivation to be in contact with you is sexual?

anita