Thank you Anita. I have set up a date Monday per your advice. Although- I’m not very excited about it. She’s even more attractive and obviously shows far more interest in me than this girl that disappeared on me. But I can’t seem to think about anything but this girl from last week. It’s at a stage where I know it’s unreasonable. I know I shouldn’t have my thoughts filled with her and what happened. But I simply can NOT. STOP. thinking about her and the situation.

This weekend I did things that should have been great fun, and should have taken my mind off of it at least for afew hours. I played 5 hours of golf for the first time with friends. We had a big bbq that included afew games and tournaments. The entire time, my thoughts have been absolutely dominated by this girl that I had only a single date with, how I failed in something that should have come so natural for me as a man, and how if I HADN’T failed, everything would be ok right now. And truth be told, even looking back at her, I know she wasn’t anything special. I know that even at the time we were talking- I was having reservations about whether she was someone I’d even be interested in a long term sense. But knowing these things has done nothing to quell my current pain at all.

It’s gotten to a point where I cannot stomach being at home. I can’t watch movies or television shows. It’s Sunday night right now, and I’m sitting at home writing this, and there’s a wave of gloom that washes over me- knowing that I’m about to start the work week and be locked in the home/work/home/work cycle for afew days. But even when I’m at work and naturally anticipating the end of the work day’s freedom and the ability to return home; I shudder at the thought of walking into my house. Almost like I’d prefer just staying at work rather than coming home where this newfound loneliness is waiting for me.

I’m starting to think I’ve got issues on a much deeper level than I know. I mean.. why after a single date am I having such intense and emotional feelings about this? I’ve almost gotten to the point of crying occasionally on afew days since I’ve found out I’ve been rejected. What’s been putting me on the brink of crying these few days is the thought that she’s gone. “She”, being someone that didn’t mean much to me to begin with. But suddenly every text of our past conversations hold much more significance than they actually do, and this newly developed way of thinking; that I have nothing. Could this date, and subsequent rejection have triggered something eternally in me that’s been lying dormant? These intense emotions can’t be common, can they? For the simple fact that she was able to walk away so easily, and the common sense idea that today’s people can hookup so easily and be divorced of emotion.. this has got to be something I’m experiencing alone, right?

• This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by Josh.