Dear Cali Chica:

“look at the baseline problem… needing to escape.. the frenzy of the mind… I have been more mindful..  with my husband.. it is not innate or natural… it is innate for me to be distracted away from him at the drop of a hat and find myself occupied by some other thing”-

– the baseline problem is fear, because it is when we are afraid that we want to escape. And we are all afraid, anxiety is the human condition.

The many people obsessed with social media are afraid too. The method of escape is new, technology is advancing- distracting-while-texting, the quiet texting and messaging replaced the long drawn out phone conversations.

Back to my question: what about relating, honest, relating, back and forth, the real thing?-

– the real thing means relating to another when calm, when not distracted, not frenzied, hearing his or her voice while the voice of the mental rep is quiet or under control-

-volume turned down every time it is up, asking the person we are with to repeat what they said because his voice drowned momentarily by the mental rep’s voice-

– taking the time to rehear what the other person said. No matter how intelligent you are, how analytical and educated, nothing can replace listening (to actual voice or words on the screen) while calm. Calm interactions with others, really listening to the other person, processing it calmly and responding calmly is the real thing then.

The Wellness Program will definitely have to include lots of that calming I just mentioned, so when two people talk, let’s say you and a client, then there are only two people talking, not four: you, your mental rep with its commentary, the client and her mental rep and that commentary.

anita