Dear prudence:

Welcome back!

“what do  I do wrong in relationships”, you wrote.

Here is something wrong that you did: “I saw pictures of women in his phone,  but I never confronted him coz I didn’t want to sound insecure”-

You should have asked him: who are these women in your phone, you should have confronted him that way, so to get information about what you saw. It is not about you being insecure, it is about the reality of these women in his phone.

In other words, it is wrong, or a better word, ineffective to ignore reality. Better confront reality.

If you asked him about those women, maybe he  would have told you the truth and maybe he would have lied, but even if he lied, you would have the opportunity to ask yourself if his answer makes sense or not. You could have gotten information from him even if what he  would have told you was a lie.

“I also saw a video of a woman and a baby, but I wanted to watch it. He immediately deleted it, it pained me, but I never wanted to ruin the time we were having, so I let it go”-

– same principle, better confront reality. When we ignore reality because it is unpleasant and we don’t want it to be reality, it does not go away. Reality doesn’t accommodate our denial of it.

I didn’t understand the part about the money and him being paid..?

anita