Dear anita,

I do hope and I want to believe that I am making progress!

It seems that I might have found a new place to live. It would be nice to finally make progress in that area. Last week I met again with the two women and we talked and it wasn’t as hectic as last time. They seemed very friendly and I liked them. They are also very independent and don’t expect to spend too much time together. They also have clear rules for cleaning the apartment and I usually stick to plans like this. I feel like this could work out! Hopefully, it would be such a relief to have this settled!

Last weekend was also less lonely with my parents visit. I realize more and more that human contact is good for me. If I stay alone for too long, I get depressing thoughts. But the weekend with my parents was also a little stressful. So hopefully I can have a calmer weekend next week and also take a day for myself, which I wanted to do last weekend.

Yesterday something weird happened to me and I don’t know why I am even thinking about it. A women that saw me in the street told me that luck awaits me this year. She said that the last three years had been hard but that I had prayed for help recently and that a guardian angel heard me. That I was too good-natured, but that if I needed help, people break my back. She said that a “black knot” had been “put into my cradle” (that I was born with it) and that I am the third generation. That this comes from my family, from my great-grandmother. She wanted to have a cup of tea with me and tell me how to release this blockage. I said that I usually don’t believe in such things. She said “you don’t have to” said goodbye and walked away.

I don’t know why I am thinking about this or why I even listened to her for so long. It was oddly fascinating and some things seemed to make sense. Maybe she was a fortune teller and wanted to make some money. Or she belonged to some cult. Best not to get involved with such superstitious things, for the sake of my own mental health. It was very creepy. What a weird encounter!

What do you think about such things? Since my teenage years I was a proud atheist for a long time. But during the last years I sometimes was thinking that religion can have some benefits. People have something to hold onto. And they can find a community in their religious group. But I think that religion is truly not for me. It is one of my core attributes that I am not religious…