Hi Anita,

just to confirm, I’m referring to the same incident. I dealt with the brunt of it in March because I was still writing exams in February and couldn’t really focus too much on the affair at the time, so I refer to it as having happened in March only because that is when I truly dealt with it, but it happened in early February.

His plans have not changed. He is still moving in August.

I perceive him to genuinely regret having betrayed my trust and not having been honest. I’m not happy that he cheated on me but we have come out the other side in a much better place. We communicate a lot better, we’re more vulnerable in ways we never have before, he’s reassured me that he is as committed as I am to being together because we are great together and we love each other. I wouldn’t say my trust is fully restored but I have committed to making us work.

I also believe that my judgment is in tact because he has been able to relay how he feels a lot and that has allowed me to make decisions based on what’s real and that affirms to me that my judgment is good. Therapy has however helped me accept that human beings can shock you sometimes and when they do, I should be able to receive it just as that, and not account it to who I am. I can’t foresee everything and that says nothing about my judgment.

I can also play a role in adopting poor judgment by not addressing uncomfortable issues. The latter is what I did because his reason for cheating stemmed from the sex problems, which I also took issue with but didn’t express to him.

Overall, he is a great man and who has owned up to his mistakes. I do trust my perception of his feelings and commitment towards me now. I would just like to figure out how we fix the sex issues because we both want to.