Dear Kylin:

Having just read your April 2016 thread, I have a better understanding of your current thread original post. April 2016 you were an undergraduate struggling with anxiety and panic attacks, fearing that you will fail your exams. You wrote then: “I am absolutely terrified and stressed all the time… the fear of failure has not changed even with the fact that I am actually doing relatively well academically. The fear is crippling, and I find myself crying at random times of the day… I get severe panic attacks.. very frequently”. You wrote that you “have undergone counseling” and that you “exercise regularly, eat healthily.. practice yoga and .. write journals”.

Fast forward three years and three months, I suppose you did well in your exams, graduated and are employed. You no longer fear failing exams, but you fear saying things that will get you in trouble with the company you work for, maybe get you fired. “I feel like I am treading on eggshells every time I mention anything about work… I am just so terrified all the time”.

My input:

1. Don’t talk about work while you are not working unless it is necessary. You don’t talk about work= you have nothing to worry regarding what you (didn’t) say.

2. Stop making jokes. Now, this is a terrible advice if taken in isolation, as humor is healthy. But because you overthink and are suffering from long term anxiety, and joking ends badly for you (“I always make a lot of jokes and it’s almost always on hindsight that I realise that I have said something very unkind or mean”)- don’t joke.

For humor, listen or visit perhaps a comedy show or movie.

3. Attend psychotherapy/ counseling. What you did attend in the past is not enough. Continue to eat healthily, exercise, do yoga etc., but you need to do more, and that would be in quality counseling.

In your previous thread you wrote that your anxiety started in high school, not before, and that it was due to bulling there. You wrote that you didn’t share your troubles with your parents because you didn’t want to burden them and you didn’t want to disappoint them. Perhaps there is more to look at in regard to your relationships with your parents, looking into why you have been so afraid to disappoint and burden them. What burden do they already have that you don’t want to add to?

anita