Dear Cali Chica:

“all of life was her… it was always subconsciously to make her happy. See it was always to make her happy.. when you ask me what I would be doing if it wasn’t Helping her, appeasing her, my mind is blank… LIFE is her. All her… All (CC) did was for her mother, to help her mother. That’s all she is. That is who she is”-

-“who she is”, who Cali Chica has been from the beginning was Love, a little girl who loved her mother completely, so much so that nothing mattered but her mother’s well-being.

Problem is you loved the wrong person: the woman you had the misfortune of being born through, that “bad birth” you mentioned.

Not your fault, you didn’t choose that birth. You loved her not because she was worthy of your love but because of her role in your life: her being your mother.

You are paying a high price for loving the wrong person, a person who misused your love and betrayed it and you. She betrayed your love for her is the same as saying that she betrayed you.

“As a kid I thought, or was told I was defiant and strong willed”- your strongest will by far, your only will, was to make your mother happy, because you loved her purely and completely.

anita