Dear robert:

You wrote: “I have been accused of being a narcissist person- specifically- covert narcissism. She believes I also have traits of psychopathy”. The mother of your children, not a psychiatrist, has diagnosed you with Narcissistic Personality Disorder as well as Asocial Personality Disorder (the DSM-4 had those terms, I don’t think they were altered in the current DSM-5).

I am not a psychiatrist, but her behavior fits so well with the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. I know the behavior from a very personal experience.

The reason I mention it is not so that you will counter her accusations with one of your own but so that you will present this disorder possibility to the attorney you will be  seeing and consider it as you  proceed.

Her behavior fits it very well. You can read about it n the DSM book (the psychiatrist “bible”), and in literature by competent psychiatrists and psychotherapists. There are ways better suited to deal with women with this disorder.

First on your agenda should be to protect your children and yourself from her violence, physical and verbal. (In a way, her current affair with the other man, if it distracts her from displaying violence against the children and you, it  is.. not the worst thing for you and for the children, in this specific circumstance that you are in).

Best by far that you remove your children and yourself from her. Perhaps the attorney can help you with this and maybe it is possible to require her to attend evaluation by a doctor and get a confirmation of her Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). This diagnosis may, maybe… help you in getting sole custody of your children and as soon as possible!

anita