I guess I have left the impression that there was a constant nagging from my part. It is not the case, I made a lot of effort and worked on it, and especially recently, managed to avoid it. I knew very well that it pushed him away, and the moments I did it it was just so overwhelming for me to see that his words and actions do not match well (he said he wanted to be together and everything is well, but he didn’t make effort to show it to me and I just sensed that he is far far away, emotionally).

There were no major stressors in his life, at least not that I knew of. He was always a bit of a “lone wolf” and enigma though.

I asked because I had an ex do something similar to me. We had a similar relationship where we were very close and felt like each other’s home, best friends, all of that. He moved in with me and then 2 days later moved back out. I was completely blindsided. He did have a LOT of personal issues that he wasn’t handling well though and I didn’t realize at the time how bad they were, his depression had gotten worse but I didn’t realize it because he was internalizing it and not talking to me about it, and the only clue I had was that he was picking fights with me more, but still it wasn’t all the time and our relationship was great most of the time. I wasn’t assertive enough and would be far too passive during the fights and then he would later apologize and be left feeling like the bad guy. Then he got tired of feeling like the bad guy.

Is it possible he has some things going on that he is internalizing? Especially if he seems quicker to anger. This might not actually be about you. The fact that his words and actions weren’t lining up say that something was off with him, especially if you guys haven’t had these issues the whole time you’ve been dating.  Like my ex got worse about a year and a half into our relationship when things just started going wrong and piling up for both of us. I was handling my stuff and working on it but he was very much internalizing what he was going through and there’s really no way for other people to know what people are thinking/feeling when they’re internalizing that way.

So what I’m saying is try not to blame yourself because this is likely him, too. Especially since it almost seemed like a switch flipped, right? Like things were generally great most of the time and he wanted to move in and then he suddenly didn’t…  I’m sure the arguments were part of it (especially assuming he had time/energy to talk during breaks and before bed, calling him out on that would make him feel worse), but that most definitely wasn’t the whole reason.

• This reply was modified 5 years, 3 months ago by Valora.