Dear Anita,

Thank you for defining that for me.  Yes, I recall a year ago telling you that I didn’t want to invite this person to walk my dog with me, but I for some reason reached out as a knee jerk.  I know this past motivation of fearing being alone, or feeling someone else’s presence will quell my anxiety.  I learned over the year so much.  That indeed the presence of others does not “cure” this distress, and in fact can worsen it.  Yet, of course as you said I am extroverted, but that does not mean all consumed with SCC behaviors.  I know I will continue to work on this.  Sending the RSVP no yesterday, and getting the text response from the bride: OK.

Would have sent me into a guilt spiral.  Weird passive aggressive response.  But instead i said, who cares.  I don’t want to go, and in fact I am okay never seeing or talking to her again.  She is not a priority.

Work in progress.  This weekend will be no weddings, no call for my husband, and zero social obligations.  What a relief.  It will be good down time for my husband and i both.