About my actions towards her, I agree that this is pretty much what Im doing, replicating the patterns of behavior that I learned, which is what we tend to do as humans, unless we rethink and change.

For some reason, I also care that she won’t realize the reasons I’ll be distancing myself. Maybe because I invested myself into this friendship and I’m afraid this would mean I failed? Maybe because I want to be seen as a good rescuer and receive approval for my behavior (not the opposite). Anyway, I know that’s unlikely to happen because there’s no way she wouldn’t frame me like the bad guy if I stop talking to her.

About her definition of abusive, I wish she would fit the abusive profile perfectly because then I could detach myself without guilty. I mean, I would be easier to have a straightforward justification but it feels that this type of abusive relationship is kinda different than the norm. First, it’s not a romantic relationship and secondly it’s based on the fact that she makes me feel responsible for her well being. It’s not like she makes me believe that I need her to survive, she makes me believe that SHE needs me to survive…this is quite confusing.

But about the other friends and being surrounded by them, I feel like I should somehow be trying to be this person. Idk if she’s the one making me believe this but I feel inadequate in this respect as well and that’s the reason why I started the thread: whether should I not consider her opinions or should I try harder to build a big social circle.

Ah and please, you’re very welcome to provide your input about my friend’s accident.