Hello Maria,

I agree with Anita, you should find a way to detach yourself from this friendship. From your post, it’s draining you for years. It’s a friendship that doenst fit with what you believe about human relationships. Abusive or not, doesn’t matter the definition, what matters is how it makes you feel. And from what you wrote, doesn’t make you feel very good. When we feel bad about ourselves, it’s easier to be envious of what others have. You both grew up together but you have a good career, a nice boyfriend, a degree. While she still struggling to find her place. She might not be doing it consciously, but she’s aggressive towards you out of spite like you said, that is clear.

Your pasta traumas might be tricking you into compensate for what you “think” you failed at: saving your friend’s life from the accident. But these are two different circumstances and you seem clever enough to realize this. Free yourself from these obligations, this is not your burden, not your cross to carry.

I hope you’re able to forgive yourself and live a life true to yourself.

Keep us posted!

Wish you the best!

• This reply was modified 5 years ago by Marge.