Dear Anonymous:

You are welcome and thank you for your kind words.

“I’m wondering if there are deeper issues here with this guy.. Perhaps he struggles with his own deeper insecurities or pain from past experiences”- most likely. I never came across a person who doesn’t have deeper issues, insecurities and pain from past experiences.

“I wish he saw me as desirable enough to change his ways.. a fantasy I have”- this is almost every woman’s dream and fantasy, at one time or another, to be the one that makes the difference!

(and when it does happen, that a non- committal man does marry one particular woman.. I don’t think that it ever turns out as fantastic as the fantasy felt like).

Regarding your anger at this man, it is the rejection of two months ago and that you had expectations and you are now disappointed that these expectations didn’t materialize. I wonder if it will help you to share this with him, to express to him your anger at him and at yourself (“for not communicating more clearly early on”), in a responsible way, that is, not blaming him more than you blame yourself, not aggressively by yelling or calling him names and such, but in a controlled, measured way.

Probably better than “to ignore him and play it off as I don’t care about what happened”. Tell him that you do care.. because you do. Not for the purpose of making a relationship with him happen in the future, but for the purpose of creating a closure with him, a closure for what it was between you and him.

Then carry the lesson you learned for what is next for you. What do you think?

anita