Dear Lily:

“Compared to last year, I feel definitely  better”- this is what healing is about: Progress, not Perfection.

Good to read that during the last weeks “everything was overall O.K.”, that you are still cooking, that you are doing O.K. at work, that one of your colleagues likes working with you so much- it sure feels good to be accepted and liked.

Good to read that although you are “still feeing lonely often”, that you are not overwhelmed by the feeling (“but it is O.K.”).

“I am not sure if I picked a career path that is simply too hard for me… I feel that the things I produced are good.. but I also feel like it is not enough and I have a lot to learn”- I think that it is a good idea if you could meet with a trustworthy professional in your field who will look at your work and advise you as to what to do different next, if anything. I think that you need a more solid (emotional) ground to stand on as far as your career path, that you need to know if you can learn all that you need to learn within your available time frame, so to be good enough to succeed in your current career path.

Better confront the fear that you are professionally not good enough than to have this lingering and persistent doubt about not being good enough, a doubt that is fueling this “struggle still with procrastination and productivity” that you mentioned.

anita