Dear Malena:

You are welcome. In your original post you wrote: “Bf says he doesn’t want to put his children in difficult position.. I just don’t get my bf’s reasoning”. In your most recent post you wrote: “he doesn’t want to deprive the children of contact with mum”-

He is denying reality so to lower his stress level. Reality is that his children are not yet to be in a difficult situation, they already are, and it is a good idea to deprive them of contact with their mother! He denies this reality and makes believe that his children are in an okay position as is, and that their contact with their mother is a positive thing that should continue.

His reasoning is significantly flawed. I think that you are correct in that “it’s a hostage situation for all involved”, and you are held hostage directly by his flawed reasoning.

I hope you free yourself then, from his wife and from his flawed reasoning regarding what he needs to do to right his children’s situation. No wonder he is in no position to figure and do what is right for you!

anita