Dear E Bugs;

It is not unusual for girls/ young women to get scared when they are about to break up with a guy, so they plan what to say at the occasion, so to not make the guy angry.

When she told you that she feels like a bad girlfriend for not giving you time she feels she should, may mean that she is trying to soften the blow of breaking up with you by showing you that she is somewhat tortured by self criticism- which is likely to  cause you to comfort her instead of criticizing her further.

When she told you that it will hurt her when she finds out that you will be dating another woman- that may very well be true, but the reason she told you that may be to.. again, soften the blow of breaking up with you by letting you know she will still love you, in a way. It is as if she is saying: don’t get angry at me for breaking up with you, I will still love you!

When you answered each item she brought up, it didn’t change her mind, because the items she brought up were not honest.

I am not saying she is overall a dishonest person; I am saying it takes courage for a young woman (and sometimes older women, and men as well) to tell a man honestly why she is breaking up with him.

“she said its selfish of her to expect me to  wait for her”- reads like she doesn’t want you to wait for her because she doesn’t intend to be there for you. Again, softened with self criticism projected into the future, it will be selfish of her.

Post again anytime, and if you ask her what I suggested you ask her (better assure her when you ask her that she will not suffer any negative consequence if she answers honestly, if it is true),  you are welcome to let me know her answer and I will reply to you further.

anita