Dear Anita and Brandy,

Thanks for your comments and views. During this days I’ve been thinking about what happened and I do believe I made the right decision. As I mentioned before, after doing a personal search on myself three years ago I found out that I have characteristics of being Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and also and Empath. Which definitely explains things of the past, and I have been working to not make the same mistakes in the past. Me being so open with this girl was something new for me, expressing my feelings was not something so common in me. Also putting my emotions first is something that hadn’t happened before, especially because I tend to believe in the goodness of people and that they can change. It’s what moves me in life (I’m a humaniarian worker, so my motor is the believe that change can happen).

I will not lie, their are moments I see all that I did as good and see what you wrote and believe I made the right action. Other moments, I ask myself if really all this is related to her not being ready after breaking up with her ex, thinking that I should be more patience and support her. But emotionally all this was exhausting because I don’t understand all those mix signals that she sends and thought that she would support the idea of not doing it so we could continue to be friends and see that this could work out.

Actually, one thing that also had me thinking, was that she had closed her Facebook and Instagram accounts, and said to me she did it as a stage of letting go her ex and disconnect from the social media that was a temptation to write to him (I thought this was a good sign). One day after this, I saw she opened her FB account again and had actually put a web history with a nice picture of her. This got me thinking “why would she do this? who does she want to see the picture?”). In which case I believe that she is fishing in the ocean all the options she has (which she can do, its her life), not only her ex but other guys here, and decided that I don’t want to be in this situation.

More important, she knew about me being HSP, I spoke with her about this in the first month, but I guess she didn’t care much what it means, because everytime something bothered her, she would claim to me the problem was me being too sensitive. Lucky for me, this happened now and not years ago, when I have done my own inner search and understand that this isn’t a problem, and whoever loves me will do it with my sensitive side. So I didn’t allow those comments to get into my head, I would just let them go through. But it also means that I feel more deeply my emotions, so you can imagine all this hits me emotionally hard because it felt really nice and happy when we shared moments, and now I’m trying that it doesn’t blind me of the other bad things that happened.

I will take this a day at a time and will see what happens next time we cross, because as I mentioned before, we have many friends in common. But yes, I’m proud of how I manage this and will try to keep my head up. Thanks again for all your support.

Gustavo