Hi Shelbyville,

I’ve been reading this forum and although I haven’t had chance to read the full thread, I feel like you still haven’t found the hope you’re looking for ! I just want to share my story with you.

I’m 29 and I met my ex boyfriend 3 years ago, and in comparison to the other men I had previously been in relationships with, I thought he was amazing. He was funny, handsome, emotionally available (to an extent), caring & generous. I thought I had finally hit the jack pot! Within a few months we were completely in love….

After approx. 1 year, I started to feel anxious, and had a sense of dread most days. I was unsure what triggered it but my anxiety seemed to be based around my boyfriend leaving me. Perhaps I had intuitively picked up on him distancing himself from me? We were arguing regularly about him going out too often with his female friends, and me being uncomfortable with how close he was to them (it was a bit ridiculous).

Anyway, after coming home with me to meet my parents, he broke up with me several days later. This had been my only experience of men so far, that they break your heart, but I had convinced myself that he was different and wouldn’t do that. I was devastated. Much like how you describe your pain in your initial post. The feeling went on for weeks. I would wake up in the middle of the night and cry, or at the weekend I would find my own company intolerable. Great friends helped, working helped, running helped. Not much feeling the void in my heart, apart from time to heal and acceptance. I would say it took 6 weeks for the pain to subside even slightly, and a full year for it to go away. You begin to realise your greatness and worth without the other person, and you build a life for yourself. You see other men around and start to notice them. You realise that everything seems to happen for a reason, and a break up is a blessing in disguise.

I am now two years down the line, have been single up until very recently when I met a new guy who is absolutely lovely. Who knows, maybe this won’t last either, but I have way more faith in myself go cope, and the universe to keep me on the right track. Chin up, keep doing what you’re doing and it will pass.

C x

P.S a journal really helps too!