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Dear Lisa:
Back in May 2017, in your first thread, Alone, you wrote: “I am always in a survival mode with little bursts of ambition that fizzle out and then just remain in a survival mode”.
You started your second thread, Choosing Love, with a burst of ambition, January 15, 2019, more than a year ago: “I feel I have many issues so it will be a challenge but I am only placing one guideline for myself in this thread. That is to avoid agonizing over my problems and approaching them the way I would approach a subject in school. I will try to figure it out as I go. I also have to be willing to do the homework”.
The burst of ambition fizzled yet again, but if you focus on your goal to approach your problems the way you would approach a subject in school, you can revive and resurrect this thread. It may be impossible for you to avoid agonizing over your problems (first part of your stated goal), but it is possible for you to do the second part of your stated goal.
You did share before how good you were at school. Approach your problems, approach your life as a whole then, as if it was a subject in school and you are the teacher and the student.
Keep posting here (and resist the compulsion to edit and apologize for spelling or grammar mistakes best you can).
anita