Hi Anita,

That’s true, I agree. One thing I should mention is, a while after he told me about this motivation aspect, he said he didn’t realise how motivated I truly was. This was partially due to the fact that I never told him my plan regarding my career in conjunction to university. After I had told him, he said he didn’t realise this was the case. He also said that he didn’t realise how motivated I truly was, and that he was glad I am.

It does hurt to think that he was not and might not be completely content with who I am, like you said. I wish he never thought that way, in the sense that he never thought I would be like someone else.

We are in our twenties, yes. He always reiterates that he wants us to be financially secure and stable. I don’t think my partner would ask Steve for such consultation anymore, though. He says the friendship is dead and gone.

I ask my partner about Steve’s attraction to him. When I do, he always says “how many times do I have to show/tell you that I don’t want him? I want you. I want to be with you,” he says that Steve is not someone he would like to be with because of his overall personality. He says he is pretty mean to others, and the only thing he admires is his motivation and drive. When I asked him if he ever pictured being with him, he said “yuck, never.” So what I’m trying to say is, he has convinced me and has me to believe that he would never compromise his preference with me to be with Steve.

We will do the exercise you suggested. Thank you!

I have also realised that after this whole ordeal, I have developed a sense of jealousy. I keep questioning whether or not he is going to leave me and have this impending fear that he will (although I know he won’t). He reiterates that he wants to be with me always, and has shown that he is very serious about me (he has come out to his family, introduced me to them, shows that he is serious through such actions). He says he wants to marry me, also. As well as this, my partner has been cheated on in the past and he always restates that he knows what that feels like, and that he’d never do the same to me.

Also, is it wrong for me to feel threatened by Steve? I know he admires and desires for my partner, and that makes me anxious. I trust that my partner wouldn’t show reciprocation or entertain the notion of Steve’s desire, but I cannot hush the hush the worry and fear.

What are some ways I can improve on this? Even if I need to communicate with him about it?

Thank you.

Sincerely,

kiwiboy0897