I would like elaborate my feelings: So when I don’t think about my relationship with my boyfriend, everything is fine. Something in my head reminds me to overthink my feelings and then the confusion starts again. It’s like I can not control my thoughts. After we got back in January, I have mot told him how I feel, because it will be very painful for him, he won’t want to stay with me because he says that If i don’t want to be with him, it’s ok, I can leave. He won’t understand that I am stuck somewhere in between of wanting to be with him and not wanting.

regarding losing freedom- i do feel free to do whatever I want, even though we are dating for 6 years, we don’t live together so I can have my alone time at my house. However I don’t know what type of freedom am I exactly looking for? To hook up with boys? To flirt freely? Is this what I want? He is my only partner in sex, I am more than satisfied sex-wise, so I am not looking for other options. However, I do think that we were very young when we got together( I was 16, he 17), I am also the first woman for him. Even though I was very young, I used to do a lot of crazy stuff before I met him. Like meeting lots of guys, kissing, flirting. Most of the times I crave those feelings and want them back. Maybe that’s why I want to be single. If be break up, I won’t be looking for a serious relationship for a long time. But then, when I will start looking for one, I know that I will start to look for him in every person I meet. So why do I have to break up? Can’t I get those crazy feelings of flirt and novelty with him?

because of these feelings I have described above, I get very weirdly negative emotions for my boyfriend. I am irritated and don’t want to see him. But as I have mentioned, when I’m with him, my emotions change towards good. But then a thought enters my mind like: do u really enjoy it? Do u love him as a person or a man? Then everything changes and I suffer.
i don’t know what to do. I am very confused, please help me