Omg michelle I’m so happy to hear your good news! Now you should you can really take life by the horns and continue your exciting travel adventures when this lockdown finally ends! The relief was must be a lot. Put a smile in my face to hear your good  news.

In relation to Jay you hit the nail on the head.i feel if I cease control I will lose control if my anxiety but at the same time I just want to let go of myself and be carefree like I was before my ex. It’s just getting that pesky balance. We do communicate honestly thats the major difference in this rship. I never knew how much healthier it is to just be honest with one another. If it’s the right person they’ll stick by you just like Jay has. I need to keep reminding myself that and be more self assured and not harsh on myself which kills my own self esteem. It’s just so often because he is so great in so many aspects I feel like what is he doing with me ? I just can’t shake that enough. I do want a full relationship with him. Part of reason I’m keeping him at bay even though I desperately want to talk to him day and night is I feel this is perfect time to work on my issues then when its lifted I can really show him what I can offer him. Present my best version to him. I do need to be careful I don’t keep too much gap between the interactions as I don’t want to sent mixed signals or make him feel like I did last time. It really hurt hearing how he felt. Well there it is another day in the mind of Genie! Hope everyone is enjoying the weather and had lots of eggs at least this weekend gone x