Hi Hannah!

I’m so happy to hear your story 🙂

Just to share more of my background with you: I grew up in Sydney, Australia where making friends there was actually quite easy, as generally people there are more open and friendly. I moved to Singapore when I was a teenager and lost contact with all my childhood buddies.

In Singapore, I’ve always found it more difficult to make friends, and I find that people here they tend to keep to themselves more. In the local school I went to the kids preferred to speak their native language to each other (Chinese, Malay or Indian), so as I am only English-speaking I often found myself sitting at the table with a group of friends who would be speaking in Chinese and only translate what they’re saying in English to me once in a while – it seemed very rude at first too, but eventually I got used to it. I did go on to meet new friends at school/work later on, but it was quite the effort to fit in.

I absolutely agree with you on quite a few points too:

I’m quite a sporty person so I have joined many sports groups but the only friends I seem to make are male who pretend that they are your friend when actually its turns out they have other intentions. –> YESS!!! I know exactly. I started a part-time degree programme 2 yrs ago, partly also hoping that it would be a good opportunity for some friendships to form, but while I’m trying to chat to the ladies in the group, the guys’ are more interested in giving me their (unwanted) attention, and I really just try to avoid it. Also, I now realize that part-time studying is not the same as full-time studying. In my Uni, it’s mostly independent self-studying with 1 weekly class. If there are group assignments, everyone would just split the questions and 1 person compiles everyone’s answers for submission – we never meet outside of Uni to discuss the assignment or collaborate on any ideas. All communication is only via Watsapp, and it’s always purpose-driven and related to the assignment. I don’t blame them, as they have busy lives juggling work, family, etc, and classes are from 7pm-10pm, so no one really has much time or energy to chit chat at that point. Plus there’s so many of students taking different subjects so it’s quite uncommon that anyone will meet their group mates again.

I could be wrong but it seems much easier for men to make friends with other men as they just get on with it and everyone seems welcome where with woman they seem to be more standoffish. I don’t know whether you have noticed that? You’re right! I have noticed this.

There is an app I use called meetup which I have been using to meet new people. I have been to some of the events and making friends is going to take time, but it is good and it gets me out of the house going to events and i’m not alone. Everyone thinks i’m mad because I go to random events with strangers but when you have no friends how do you make friends? Omg, I literally joined my first Meetup event 1 month ago (before my country’s lockdown) so I know exactly what you mean. Are you my twin in the world? haha. And yes, I think that it’s definitely going to take time to develop friendships from there – I met some nice ladies, but we did not exchange numbers so now I’m thinking, will I see them again? A note to myself, next time, I would offer to start a chat group where we could at least keep in touch. What i find quite awkward though is that it’s mostly Expats who just moved to Singapore, and I do feel a little insecure that they might be wondering why I am joining Meetup events.

For me I don’t want a boyfriend what I would like is to make new friends, go on some adventures and have fun. It feels really hard and lonely at the moment but it can only get better ? ME TOO – I’m also not looking for a boyfriend, and am only looking for friendship.

Hannah, would you like to keep in touch via this forum, or email (i will check out if it is possible to send a direct message through this forum? I’m not very sure, but i’ll check after writing this), just to give each other some encouragement from time to time, or just to share experiences in “friendship-making” journey? 🙂

E.E