Hi anita,

Thanks for responding to my post.

I have tried so many times in the past to get out, but just when I thought that I was out, she pulled me back in. However, this time is truly different though, as I have finally decided to put myself first.

Regarding your question, it’s a good one because we can’t seem to wrap our heads around this too. But she has shared with me before:

1) She has invested too much money, time, and effort into this relationship

2) It was too late to leave, as she has already went “public” with her relationship

3) If she were to call off her wedding, it would be difficult for her immediate family to explain themselves to the rest of their family members

4) At her age, it’s too late to start over

5) Submission to fate: She believes she has no choice and that she is destined to be “unlucky” in love

I think above all… she loves him. Prior to the wedding, she struggled so much that she even tried to harm herself by jumping off from the third floor of where she lives when she was in a argument with her then-fiancé and now-husband. It didn’t help that he actually asked her to jump but when she was leaping over, he grabbed her arm and pulled her back in. When she showed me the scars on the arm… I could physically feel my heart breaking.

She was in such a confused state that a few months before her wedding, she traveled to another country and looked for a man who was romantically interested in her. I personally know that man as well as he is one of our mutual friends. At first she told me she was going to another country, by herself, and would be traveling solo, but I found out later that she was lying to me the whole time because there was no said flight to that “another country” on that day. I confronted her and she came clean, but insisted she wasn’t there to cheat and that they didn’t have sex. The thing is… I didn’t even ask if they had sex. I told her I was incredibly hurt by her actions, not so much about meeting another guy, but the fact that she lied to me the entire time. I was genuinely worried for her because according to her she was traveling solo, and I even wanted to give her some cash for any emergency situations as I was concerned about her finances.

Looking back now… gosh.