I’m not sure anymore. I love him and care for him DEEPLY. But I’ve almost lost hope now. I’ve kind of come to leave with the fact that maybe not every relationship is meant to be. Even if he loves me dearly. And maybe after I move on I’ll be happier because that stress will be lifted. But i don’t panic anymore. I just get sad and wish it were different. But i feel like I’m fighting against what the universe is trying to show me. But why ? If he’s an amazing guy and there truly is a future for us  if only I wasn’t screwing it up.