Dear gamer:

You mentioned that he had childhood trauma, but I didn’t know that his childhood trauma is still happening, that it is ongoing: if he is living with his mother, who was (and maybe still is) his abuser, and as a result, he “is always paranoid and high sprung all the time because of her”, then he is not able to have a healthy, stable, dependable relationship with you.

I think that it’s a good idea that you see him tomorrow and not mention any of this. I  also think that you should give him space, but not for the purpose of him deciding if wants in or out of a relationship with you (I don’t think he is able to make this choice),  but for the purpose of making his life easier while he is suffering from his ongoing- childhood trauma.

When you pressure him, you are making his life more difficult (It is like beating on a dog that is already injured), and you will achieve nothing positive for yourself.

His only hope for mental health and your  only hope  to have a healthy relationship with him is if he no longer lives with his mother, if he is no longer being traumatized by her, and if he then starts healing.

anita

• This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by .